Marrena Lindberg: Portrait of a Liberal

Perched on a stool in a television studio, Marrena Lindberg pulls out her prized possession: a photo of Stephen Colbert. She squints her eyes slightly, scrunches up her face, and emits a slightly tortured mewl that falls somewhere between whine and sigh. That, she explains somewhat clinically to the naked adult film star on her right, was just one of the 40 to 50 Colbert-induced orgasms she experiences every day.

My better half and I watch in horrified fascination as the heavyset Ms. Lindberg plugs The Orgasmic Diet, a nutritional regimen we imagine does little for one’s figure or sex life. As our tear-inducing laughter subsides, she demonstrates one more hands-off, six second Colbert-gasm.

And thus, our first night of upgraded cable service came to an end. (Best recession ever, by the way.) We’ll be a little more careful about surfing past the HBO range of channels from now on.

As distasteful as it was to watch this woman humiliate herself by faking orgasms on television, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of person does such a thing. I completely understand why she appeared on the Katie Morgan show – she’s got books to sell – but who the hell gets on TV and drools over a picture of Stephen Colbert while pretending to Kegel her way to climax in less than 10 seconds?

Enter Google.

42-year-old Marrena Lindberg is an overweight Wiccan divorcée who indulges her stalker-like obsession with Stephen Colbert by posting prolifically on the ColbertNation forums using the handles Eris and zaneblue. She likes to write about the unseemly details of her sex life, but her political nonsense almost eclipses her sexual nonsense.

Ms. Lindberg has more than a touch of Palin Derangement Syndrome, reads DailyKos, comments regularly on HuffPo, and thinks George Bush stole the elections in 2000 and 2004. Oh, and predictably enough, she hates corporations and neocons. Of course, all that typical liberal ire is to be expected, considering the Rethuglicans are preventing her from getting the government to foot the bill for her research into female orgasms. As she wrote several weeks ago in a verbose letter she bribed Dan Savage to publish:

I can’t get funding because of the Republicans in power, there’s no funding for any non-pharmaceutical research, much less for a study on God forbid female sexuality.

Someone might want to let Marrena Lindberg know that the Democrats won control of Congress in 2006. If only she knew before donating all her “spare money to Obama.” She could have saved her cash to load up on Colbert centric spank material.

December 19, 2008 · Filed Under Distractions, Liberal Absurdity

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The New Marriage Equality Movement: Ban Divorce

Dear Lord! When will Prop 8 opponents wake up and realize that attempts to undermine traditional marriage, no matter how tongue in cheek, are not the way to win friends and influence people?

Apparently, that epiphany will come at some point after they gather signatures for a petition to protect the sanctity of heterosexual marriage by prohibiting divorce. The petition reads:

Divorce destroys the sanctity of marriage and its powerful influence on the betterment of society. This proposition would keep the very meaning of marriage from being transformed into nothing more than a contractual relationship between two adults. Prohibiting divorce between heterosexual married couples will keep the interests of children and families intact. We will continue to celebrate marriage as the union of husband and wife, not as a relationship between “Party A” and “Party B.” The marriage of a man and a woman has been at the heart of society since the beginning of time and it promotes the ideal opportunity for children to be raised by a mother and a father in a family held together by the legal, communal, and spiritual bonds of marriage. As a society we should put the best interests of children first, and those interests lie in traditional marriage. Permitting divorce destroys marriage as we know it and causes a profound harm to society. We should be restoring marriage, not undermining it.

And for those of you who voted yes on Prop 8 but disagree with this petition…Why? This petition is copied and pasted from literature from your website, ProtectMarriage.com, but applied to Divorce instead of Gay Marriage. So how can you argue with your own words?

Worst. Strategy. Ever.

I support gay marriage 100 percent, but I will never support these morons in their self-defeating attention grabs. As long as same sex marriage supporters continue to frame the debate this way, their mission will continue to be unsuccessful. “We’re right, you’re retarded, here’s why you’re a bleepin’ hypocrite,” just isn’t the way to go. A little empathy would be a good start. Heck, even a half-hearted attempt at understanding where their opponents are coming from would help.

Or they could just keep belittling people with different views:

December 17, 2008 · Filed Under Gay Issues, Liberal Absurdity

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Things That Fail to Surprise Me

How often do you hear someone start a sentence with the words, “I can’t believe ….”  I can’t believe it’s raining.  I can’t believe Obama got elected.  I can’t believe another Chicago politician is corrupt.

But really, all these things are well within the realm of believability.  I prefer to think of them as remarkable – not shocking, not even really surprising, but definitely worth a remark or two.  In that spirit, here are some remarkable items I wish I could find surprising:

Arizona ranks among the worst states in the nation when it comes to emergency preparedness.  Since Arizona governor Janet Napolitano has done such a stand up job addressing her state’s disaster response capabilities, it’s only natural that she will oversee Homeland Security for the Obama administration. (via The Weekly Standard)

The increasing number of Orthodox Jews in the Riverdale section of the Bronx doesn’t sit well with at least one resident.  Michael O’Brien is calling for a boycott of local shops that have adapted their business practices to respond to shifting neighborhood demographics.  He is offended by the lack of Christmas decorations at the Jewish deli and outraged that the Dunkin Donuts across the street from an orthodox yeshiva doesn’t serve sausage and egg sandwiches.

Some liberal feminists consider the Twilight YA series to be dangerously misogynistic Mormon apologia.  I prefer not to link to them, but here’s a Google search to point you in the right direction if you’re so inclined.

Mounting evidence suggests that teenage girls seeking spiritual mentoring and camaraderie on pagan social networking sites are being lured into inappropriate relationships with adult men.

South Carolina GOP chairman Katon Dawson played the black friend card this week in a revoltingly calculated (and easily anticipated) attempt to assure the public that his 12 year membership in a segregated country club is irrelevant to his candidacy for national RNC chairman.

And finally, the Detroit bailout bill passed in the House of Representatives with a vote of 237-170 on Wednesday.  32 “Republicans” were among those who voted in favor of the “rescue package.”

Like I said, no surprises.

December 11, 2008 · Filed Under Anti-Semitism, Corruption, Crime, Liberal Absurdity

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Prop 8 Protests Still Ineffective When Set to Music

Shocking, I know, but as it turns out, song and dance doesn’t make shallow caricatures of religious people any more palatable. I really wanted to like Prop 8: The Musical, but even Neil Patrick Harris couldn’t redeem this video from Funny or Die.

While a musical protest of the Prop 8 outcome is certainly preferable to death threats, vandalism, and violence, I’m disappointed that the most vocal supporters of gay marriage still don’t understand that crapping all over Christians isn’t the way to change minds.

Prop 8: The Musical portrays Christians as thugs and hypocrites who will happily lie to themselves and others if it will prevent same-sex marriage. “If it works then we don’t care,” they sing. Is it really so difficult to understand that demonizing people for their religious beliefs is divisive and counterproductive? The cause would be better served by shelving the impulsive lashing out so that energies can be focused on analyzing why the “No on 8” campaign failed. Clearly it’s time for a new strategy, and here’s a hint: attacking Mormons? Not so persuasive.

December 4, 2008 · Filed Under Celebrities, Gay Issues, Liberal Absurdity

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Obama to Supporters: “Get in Their Face”; One Supporter Responds: “Mind if I Use My Knife?”; Update: Hoax

Update, 10/24/08: Ashley Todd’s story was a complete fabrication. I’ll leave the post up, but I’m turning off comments because I can’t spend all day forwarding death threats against Ashley to the authorities. If you have something you need to get off your chest, use the contact form.

Update, 10/25/08: More on this racist cretin’s politics, including her participation in the Ron Paul campaign.  I was inclined to believe she was a self-absorbed loser looking for attention, but the Ron Paul connection screams nutjob.  At least she’s not a real McCain supporter.

**********

Remember when Barack Obama told his supporters that they should seek out independents and Republicans “to argue with them and get in their face”? Well, at least one Obama supporter has reportedly taken that battle cry quite literally. Via Drudge comes this terrifying story of a young McCain volunteer named Ashley Todd who was savagely attacked for her political allegiances:

Pittsburgh Police are investigating a report by a campaign staffer for John McCain that she was mugged and the letter B was cut into her face following a robbery in Bloomfield last night.

Police say the 20-year-old woman, who is from Texas, reported that the attack occurred around 9 p.m. after she withdrew $60 from an ATM at Liberty Avenue and Pearl Street.

She said a man armed with a knife demanded her money. She gave it to him and began walking toward her car, which has McCain stickers.

Although the robber had moved away from her, he became agitated when he saw her car, punched her in the back of the head, pushed her to the ground and carved a B into her face, she reported.

Fox News reports that John McCain called Ashley this afternoon, and the Obama campaign extended their thoughts as well. KDKA says Sarah Palin also called the victim.

The right side of the blogosphere is already rife with suspicion that this brutal attack could be a hoax and that it has “a Tawana Brawley feel.” Some find it suspect that the incident occurred outside the range of ATM surveillance cameras and suspicious that the victim refused medical treatment at the scene. Other skeptics point to the fact that a photograph of the woman shows a backwards “B” carved into her face, as though she used a mirror to mutilate herself.

Others are inclined to believe the report and think it’s unlikely a woman would intentionally scar herself that way. Rob Taylor reminds us it ain’t easy to blacken your own eyes. HillBuzz is demanding that Obama condemn the actions of his follower and Gateway Pundit is horrified.

My thoughts go out to Ashley Todd, and I hope this incident doesn’t deter her from continuing to be involved in the political process.

But here’s my big picture take: It doesn’t matter whether Ashley was genuinely attacked for her political beliefs. What counts is that the story seems entirely plausible, and that’s scary. It’s entirely believable that an Obama supporter would viciously maim a McCain volunteer because we expect that behavior from people who delight in smearing the minor children of politicians.

Even if Ashley’s story proves to be completely false, ask yourself whether you believe it could happen. Do you want to vote with people you expect to physically attack their political opposites, or against them?

Update: Michelle Malkin also calls b.s. I still say the veracity of Ashley Todd’s story is neither here nor there. It’s the notion that vicious behavior from one of Obama’s enraged followers isn’t at all shocking that should give you pause.

October 23, 2008 · Filed Under Election 2008, Liberal Absurdity, Misogyny

51 Comments 

Enraged Obama Cultist Bernard Feuerman Physically Attacks Female McCain Supporter

Allegedly, of course.

Crazed Obamunist Bernard Feurerman was arrested on a second-degree assault charge after a female McCain volunteer was beaten in the face with the stick from a campaign sign she had been holding. The attack took place just outside the subway station at 51st and Lex in Manhattan. Oh, and it happened on September 15th, more than a month ago, and has yet to be reported by the MSM who are too busy vetting plumbers and fabricating death threats against The One.

The victim, a middle-aged woman, told a reporter:

I was assaulted recently at a subway station when I was handing out McCain fliers with another supporter. We were standing there, talking to each other, and a rather benign, doughy-looking Jewish guy – not a person I would have expected to assault me – he saw us and he ripped a McCain sign out of his hands, broke it and tore it. And I said “What are you doing? You can’t do that!” And he was red in the face screaming, “You people are ridiculous!” And I said “Yeah, whatever, but you can’t do that.”

So I reached for the sign that he ripped up, and he grabbed another sign, broke it and ripped it to shreds. And when I said “You can’t do that,” he took the stick from the sign and started beating me on the head with it. He broke the skin on my head, he scratched my wrist, and I thought he broke my glasses, but he didn’t, and then he left.

I followed him down the stairs until I could get the police and I said, “You’re not going to get away with it.” And as soon as he saw the police he immediately went calm. He still had the stick in his hand, and you could see the injury on my face, and he admitted it. He was arrested. He actually said “I don’t know why I did this. It’s just those signs, and this election, it has me so upset.”

The deranged Dem has a January 23rd court date.

Oleg Atbashian at Pajamas Media has a copy of the District Attorney’s complaint (with names redacted.) Politico’s Ben Smith confirms the complaint is legit, and verifies that Bernard Feuerman is indeed the defendant. The “Silent” Majority No More and Ace have more on this vile incident. The New York Times and MSNBC do not.

Good job, Bernie. Now the blogosphere will make you famous and everyone will know your name. Was it worth it?

October 18, 2008 · Filed Under Election 2008, Liberal Absurdity

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